Thoughts for Lent

I imagine most of us have had the frustrating experience of confessing the same venial sins over and over. No matter what anyone tells us, this is wrong. We go to confession then come out having received absolution and we feel we have topped a spiritual rise; but then, at our next confession, we’re right back where we were at our last confession, telling the same sins over again.

    There is something wrong here, whether in our sorrow for our sins, or in our resolution to overcome these faults, or in our preparation for confession. We need to size up this frustrating situation. “Why” is the big question? Are we leaning so heavily on God’s mercy that our will to “go [and] from now on do not sin any more”[1] is soft-pedaled because in the back of our minds we know God will forgive us again and again? That is not true trust in and reliance of God’s mercy. It is presumptuous. It is being too lenient with ourselves. It is setting our sights on our next confession without doing a good job right now.

    If we do indulge, or self-indulge ourselves in this same sin soon after having confessed it, right then is the time to tell Jesus about it. “Help me, Jesus, to overcome this sin.” Reforming our lives does not take place the few moments we are in the confessional. The hardest part and the most important part takes place between confessions.

    Most of us at times think, “Jesus is kind. He knows I am weak and that I do this over and over. It isn’t a big sin; He won’t hold it against me.” All right, maybe He won’t, but we should! We should hold it against ourselves. We are not all that weak that we can’t, if we really make up our minds to start to chip away at it.

    “Now,” St. Paul says, “is a very acceptable time. Behold now is the day of salvation.”[2] Not next week or next month or whenever we go to confession again.

    We should form the good habit of instantly accusing ourselves. No excuses. Just say to yourself, “I shouldn’t have done it Jesus, help me not to do it again.” If we forget and do it again a half hour later, say it again, instantly, decisively, “I shouldn’t have done that. Help me, Jesus.” This, of course, has to come from the heart — a cry for help out of the depths of our desire to come closer to Jesus and pursued steadily, doggedly, without excuse, the good habit of overcoming it will take hold.

    Eventually, God be praised, the thought will flash into our minds before we do it. We can then take a step back and, bingo, we are confronted with the satisfying and joyous fact that, in stepping back, we have just taken a giant step forward spiritually.