1. Cots will be placed in the vestibule for those who say, "Sunday is my only
day for sleeping in."
2. We guarantee that some relatives will be present for those who like to go
visiting on Sunday.
3. We will have steel helmets for those who believe that the roof will cave in
if they show up for church.
4. Blankets will be supplied for those who say the church is too cold. Fans will
be on hand for those who say it is too hot.
5. We will have hearing aids for those who say, "The priest doesn't talk loud enough."
There will be cotton for those who say, "He talks too loud."
6. Score cards will be available for those who count the hypocrites.
7. Eye drops will be provided for those whose eyes are tired from watching TV too
late on Saturday night.
8. There will be TV dinners for those who claim they can't go to church and
cook dinner too.
9. One section of the church will have some trees and grass for those who see
God in nature, especially on the golf course.
10. The sanctuary will be decorated with both poinsettias and Easter lilies to
create a familiar environment for those who have never seen the church without them.
(Humor heals so many aches and pains!)