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Cheerful Heart Archives:Divorcing after forty-five years
Cheerful Heart Archives
Divorcing after forty-five years
An elderly man in Florida calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to
ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing --
forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says. "We're
sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister
in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're
getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls her father in Florida immediately, and screams at the old man, "You
are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling
my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing,
DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.
The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "They're
coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own fares." ... Now what do we tell them for Christmas?
A Dinner Blessing
A mother invited some people to dinner. At the table she turned to her six-year-old
daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," the little girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the mother said.
The little girl bowed her head and said, "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite
all these people to dinner?"