-My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"
-My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
-My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
-My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."
-My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep laughing and I'll "give" you something to cry about." (OK, my father always used this one)
-My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
-My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
-My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean socks and underwear in case you're in an accident."
-My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there till all that spinach is finished."
-My mother taught me about the WEATHER.
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
-My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS.
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen to me then?"
-My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, Don't exaggerate!!!"
-My mother taught me about THE CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
-My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"
-My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have
wonderful parents like you do!"