The Secular Franciscan Home Page: http://secularfranciscans.org Subject:Male and Female

Cheerful Heart Archives

Male and Female
    A three-year-old boy went with his dad to see a new litter of kittens.
On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother,
    "There were two boy kittens and two girl kittens."
    "How did you know that?" his mother asked.
    "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied.
"I think it's printed on the bottom.

Hell or high water
    One night, a torrential rain soaked South Louisiana; the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about 6 feet into most of the homes there.
    Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Mrs.Thibodaux, waiting for help to come.
    Mrs. Thibodaux noticed a lone baseball cap floating near the house. Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float all the way back to the house; it kept floating away from the house, then back in.
    Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Mrs. Boudreaux, "Do you see that baseball cap floating away from the house, then back again?"
    Mrs. Boudreaux said, "Oh yes, that's my husband; I told him he was going to cut the grass today come Hell or high water!"

Subject: Walking
    Walking is good for you!
    It is well documented that for every minute you exercise, you add a minute to your life. This enables you, at 85 years of age, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month!
    My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the devil she is!
    I joined a health club last year and spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.
    I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
    I like long walks... especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
    I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
    The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.
    If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
    And last, but not least, I don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass!