A cat died and went to heaven. God met him at the golden gate and said,
"You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you want is yours
for the asking."
The cat thought a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and
slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on."
God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.
A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to
heaven at the same time. God met the mice at the gate of heaven with the same
offer that he made the cat.
The mice said, "Well we have had to run all of our lives, from cats, dogs and
even people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller skates we
would never have to run again."
God answered, "It is done." And all the mice had beautiful little roller skates.
About a week later God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep
on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is every thing
OK? How have you been doing? Are you happy?"
The cat replied, "Oh it is wonderful. I have never been so happy in my life.
My pillow is so fluffy and those little meals on wheels you have been sending
over are really delicious."
Me Dog Is Dead
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only his pet dog for company.
One day the dog died and Muldoon went to the parish priest and asked, "Father,
me dog is dead. Could ya'be saying a Mass for the poor creature?" The priest
replied, "I'm afraid not me lad, we cannot have services for an animal in the
church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's no tellin' what
they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature". Muldoon said,
"I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to donate to them
for the service?" The priest exclaimed, "Sweet Mary, Mother of God, why
didn't ya' tell me the dog was Catholic?!!"
God Is Watching
Some children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school
for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.
The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is
watching. "Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the
table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note,
"Take all you want. God is watching! the apples."