1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people.
Snappy Answers
Snappy Answer #1
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but
couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do
these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
Snappy Answer #2
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled
down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kid
replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally
stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
Snappy Answer #3
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads
low bridge ahead." Before he knows it the bridge is right ahead of him and
he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a
police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the
truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The
truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."
Snappy Answer 4
A crowded United Airlines flight was canceled. A single agent was rebooking
a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed
his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said,
"I HAVE to be on this flight and it has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent replied, "I'm sorry sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've
got to help these folks first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something
out."
The passenger was unimpressed and asked loudly, so that the passengers behind
him could hear, "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?"
Without hesitating, the agent smiled and grabbed her public address microphone.
"May I have your attention please," she began her voice heard clearly throughout
the terminal. "We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS.
If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14."
With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the
United agent, gritted his teeth and swore something unmentionable.
Without flinching, she smiled and said, "I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get
in line for that, too."
