One night, Mikes' wife begins to deliver the baby. The local doctor was able to be there in attendance.
"What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?" said Mike.
"Hold the lantern, Mike. Here it comes!"
The doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see.
"Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy."
"Saints be praised, I…
" Before Mike can finish the Doctor interrupts, "Wait a minute. Hold the lantern, Mike.
" Soon the doctor delivers the next child. "You've a full set now, Mike. A beautiful baby daughter."
"Thanks be to…
" Again the Doctor cuts in, "Hold the lantern, Mike, Hold the lantern!
" Soon the Doctor delivers a third child.
The doctor holds up the baby for Mike's inspection.
"Doctor," asks Mike, "Do you think it's the light that's attracting them?"
Barty was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when
Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by. "Help!" Barty shouted, "I'm sinkin'!"
Don't worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon,
I'm the strongest man in Erin, and I'll pull ye right out o' there."
Mick leaned out and grabbed Barty's hand and pulled and
pulled to no avail.
After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Barty,
"Shure, I can't do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but I'll have
to get some help."
As Mick was leaving, Barty called out, "Mick! Mick! D'ye
think it will help if I pull me feet out of the stirrups?
O'Toole worked in the lumber yard for twenty years and
all that time he'd been stealing the wood and selling it. At last his conscience
began to bother him and he went to confession to repent.
"Father, it's 15 years since my last confession, and
I've been stealing wood from the lumber yard all those years," he told the
priest.
"I understand my son," says the priest.
"For your penance can you make a Novena?
"O'Toole said, "Father, if you have the plans, I've got the lumber."
Three old Irishmen met on the street on a very stormy day.
The wind was so strong and loud that they had
difficulty in hearing each other.
"It's windy," said one.
"No, it's Thursday," said the next.
"So am I," said the third. "Let's go and have a
drink of Gunniness!"
