The Secular Franciscan Home Page: http://secularfranciscans.org Cheerful Heart Archives: Dieting Under Stress

Cheerful Heart Archives

Dieting Under Stress

(Caution: This diet is not recommended for Franciscans)

This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds up during the day.

BREAKFAST: 1/2 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast, dry
8oz nonfat milk

LUNCH: 4oz lean broiled chicken breast
1 cup steamed spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Oreo cookie

AFTERNOON SNACK: Rest of Oreo cookies in package
2 pints of Rocky Road ice cream, with jar of hot fudge sauce, cherries, nuts and whipped cream

SUPPER: 2 loaves of garlic bread with cheese
1 Large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
4 cans (or pitcher) of Budweiser beer
3 large Snickers candy bars

LATE EVENING SNACK: Entire frozen cheesecake

RULES FOR THIS DIET

1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories .
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled-out by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
4. Foods used for medical purpose NEVER count (such as hot chocolate, brandy and a loaf of toast).
5. If you fatten-up everyone else around you, then YOU will look thinner.
6. Movie-related foods do not have calories because they are part of the entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. (Example: buttered popcorn, milk Duds, Junior Mints, coke, nachos with cheese sauce)
7. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Example: peanut butter on a knife when making a sandwich)
8. Foods that have the same color, have the same calories (Example: spinach and chocolate-mint ice cream. Note: Chocolate is a universal color and substitutes for all food colors.